19 August 2008

the sweetest thing

I have come to know a sweet and beautiful thing in my past 3 years in Clemson, SC. I really don't know if I can fully get the way I understand it across in mortal terms, but I will try.

That sweet thing is made up of meaningful relationships, a sense of community with other people, and cutting through the bullshit that most people pour all over each other. To me, this feels like what life is supposed to be about, what we are to pursue.

It is such a powerful thing for me that my mind has been transformed to be willing to stay in Clemson by applying for jobs in the area. When I began the 'job hunt', I was very anti-south, anti-anything in this area. But now it is something that I really want and desire to have in my life.

I guess just being willing is the most important thing when it comes to our Father's will.

What the frick?

It is a funny thing - what God does to people. How he orchestrates their lives and actions, situations. I am a believer in the fact that things happen for specific reasons.

Lately (the past few months), I have been on a job hunting campaign. Since January, I have applied, written letter, resumes, etc, to approximately 50 to 60 specific job openings. In March, I got a promising invitation to interview for a position in Gilroy, California, home of the popular Garlic Festival. I did very well in the interviews and was eventually offered the position before I graduated from graduate school at Clemson University. About 4 days prior to me leaving SC to begin trekking west, I found out that their budget was not going to support my position after all - sorry buddy. It was pretty devastating and hard to understand.

I got over it, but it happened again about 3 weeks ago. I was invited to interview with the Town of Crested Butte, Colorado. Now this was awesome. In the heart of the Rockies, a ski town, great people - I wanted this very badly. All of their language during the interviews gave me hope and led me to believe I was the guy they were looking for, but once again it didn't come through.

Again, a hard thing to handle and understand. Why would God lead me down these paths and get me so far in the process only to have the door closed when I get to the threshold? As I pondered, I began to notice the many things I was learning and gaining from these experiences. I began to let go of my own ideal assumptions of how things should go. I started to realize the beauty of the situation (static, unemployment) - Father was giving me more time with people that I hate to be apart from: my future wife, my closest friends. He was also showing me how He provides and how to enjoy His provisions - I am living with a close friend and his wife, I have been provided storage space for all of my crap, and a closer bond with my partner.

Even she has been learning and understanding the things to be learned and taken from this 'crappy' situation. Just to be willing to do our Father's will. That is all we want. At the core, that is what we ant - to be where God is leading.